Well, I haven't written anything in a while, have I? Guess I gotta get back into the swing of things before list season. So, here's a quick few sentences about a bunch of random shit people seem to be caring about.
Mo Bamba - Sheck Wes
I hate admitting that I'm out of touch considering I'm still basically a child, but god DAMN I am lost with this one. The elongated syllables, the twinkly kasio keyboard beat, it sounds ridiculous. Sheck Wes yells "SHECK WES GOT SO MANY FLOWS" despite only using 2, him yelling "I AINT NO MOTHERFUCKING JOKE" yet him totally being a joke, I feel like I'm on the most elaborate episode of Punk'd right now. Just when I was about to be completely ok with my ignorance of trap, this comes around & just seemingly implodes the genre. I guess it's sort of fun? It doesn't sound anything like your average soundcloud loser, but if you blast the bass it pretty much has the same effect. Eh, guess I'm ok with it. At the very least, it's doing something different, even if I don't think it's something that's all that good.
1999 - Charli XCX ft Troye Sivan
Queen Charli XCX drops another pop jam attempting yet again to take stan twitter by storm to the point that the mainstream public FINALLY pays attention to her, & I'm not sure with this one. While her projects always knock it out of the park, the throwaway singles Charli releases (and by "releases" i mean "gives in to making it public after it gets leaked by all of her fans") have been VERY hit or miss, and this is...PROBABLY closer to a hit but not quite there. I don't know, I like it, but something isn't quite right with it. Charli's first verse is killer, rides the beat like a champion, so it's pretty easy to rule out her & the beat as the problems. Most would blame it on Troye Sivan, but I'm not sure if he's the issue either, because he's such a non factor i'm baffled he got billed as a feature. The lyrics could be eye rolling to some, retro pandering has been a problem the past 6 or so years & it doesn't seem to be slowing down that much, but I don't think it *exactly* applies here. 1999 is only used as a timestamp as to when both of these artists were very young, when everything seemed so fun & pure, rather than nostalgia for the year itself. Oddly, the music video goes against my theory, but music videos don't relate to the song 90% of the time anyway, so I can't see why I wouldn't be able to say the same for here! Overall, song is alright I guess, didn't seem to go anywhere as usual, so I guess that's another dud for the 2 & means Charli has to visit that heavenly Google Drive of hers one more time.
Expectations - Lauren Jauregui
lmao you think i'm actually gonna give my quick thoughts on this rather than a sprawling 20 paragraph review? You're crazy. I'm merely putting it here just to remind people to listen to it.
Goin' Off - Snow Tha Product
I guess I should probably talk briefly about a song I absolutely love on here, make it seem like I have SOME sort of happy bone in my body. Well alright, here it goes.
Enter Snow Tha Product. Female rapper chucking out mixtapes since she was 16, has been consistently been one of the best rappers around for over half a decade now. Or at the VERY least, one with the most personality. Just a few days ago she released a new song, Goin' Off, & it might be her best song yet. The amount of swagger this woman has is insane. This is why I usually trash artists for having "no personality", it's because I'm comparing it to artists like THIS. Snow is fucking LOSING IT over this track. There's like 7 different flows in the 2 & a half minute runtime over a very basic but fun as hell beat, & her bragging is exciting as always. In a way, the entire song seems to take a backseat to showcase in full force "Snow Tha Product is a fucking beast & you should know this by now". And she isn't wrong.
Taki Taki - DJ Snake ft Selena Gomez, Ozuna & Cardi B
Time for a try at whatever the hot new pop song is, and today's random ass line up of characters is an incompetent producer, a singer who can barely sing, and an artist that gets more boring the more I get exposed to him.
But Eastside by Benny Blanco ft Halsey & Khalid, came up months ago, so I guess I should go with something a bit more recent.
so "Taki Taki" I guess is what I'll go with. Now the first thing that comes to mind is "I only know how to speak English & even then I'm pretty bad at it, so what the fuck is a taki?" Translating isn't doing anything for me so I'll have to figure out through context I guess.
"Taki taki, taki taki, ¡rumba!"
...alright I think even if a figured out what "RUMBA!" was supposed to be I don't think that would help me. Well Cardi B's phoned in verse doesn't mention it at all, so does Selena mention it at all?
"They can try, pero no one can stop me
What my taki taki wants, yeah, My taki taki gets, uh"
...does it mean "vagina"? Did DJ Snake really think he could drop a song called "Vagina Vagina" & get away with it?
Oh so it means nothing. That's wonderful. No really, that's great. I LOVE songs that are just about nothing. Especially when none of the performers give a shit AND the drop sounds like dogshit. That's just wonderful.
Sunlight On Your Skin by ILoveMakonnen ft Lil Peep/Falling Down by XXXTENTACION ft Lil Peep
alright, finishing off with the big one, breaking out the the hot takes here that I'm sure will offend someone, if Lil Peep emotionally meant something to you i'd suggest just exiting out now, this is the last entry & you most likely don't want to read it. You're valid & you should feel valid. Good? Good!
SO I'm clearly not the biggest fan of Lil Peep, and this should be a surprise to no one. I have little use for sad music, and if Sufjan Stevens, Mount Eerie & Nick Cave don't do much for me, i don't think this dude will do much either. But in a sense, I *got* him & his appeal, I just was nowhere near the audience he's shooting for. This is music for depressed pre-teens to young adults, I'm an 18 year old jaded asshole who laughs at Simple Plan & jerks off to various female pop stars. But his music has been conveniently avoidable (even when he died, which is a bit sad), up until this song, with him collabing with diseased corpse XXXTENTACION without his permission. Now, that's just gross on his management's fault, but i won't get into that, because as rude as it may be, I don't *really* have much interested in how exploitative people are with dead people's music. Instead, I decided to finally listen to a Lil Peep song, nearly a whole year after I trashed Come Over When You're Sober. VERY surprisingly, the instrumental is quite pleasant! ILoveMakonnen sounds better than usual, overall it's an improvement to me!
...which in turn is what i think makes it Lil Peep's worst song
Because I don't find this sad. At all. Sounds like they made an emo remix of a Natasha Bedingfield song. Again, I didn't like Come Over When You're Sober, but it was sad as shit. Granted i thought it was laughable in a Simple Plan sort of way, but that's because I'm a douchebag (in a twisted sort of way, the version with X, as revolting of a person he was, sounds a lot more depressing). On the other end, it's about 2 gay men being super gay together, and that's awesome! So I'm supposed to feel happy! Except, i don't really feel that either. Them saying "man you love me & i love you, let's spend forever together!" about 8 times just over and over again in the same way doesn't do anything for me I'm sorry. I don't feel...ANY of that here. And I feel for people who really aren't super connected to Lil Peep, they aren't gonna feel much for this either. Sorry.
Now I could tackle another song that I actually like to send everyone away happy, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to end this on a downer. Because that's what 2018 is, a downer. See ya in a bit for the worst list, bitches.
Mo Bamba - Sheck Wes
I hate admitting that I'm out of touch considering I'm still basically a child, but god DAMN I am lost with this one. The elongated syllables, the twinkly kasio keyboard beat, it sounds ridiculous. Sheck Wes yells "SHECK WES GOT SO MANY FLOWS" despite only using 2, him yelling "I AINT NO MOTHERFUCKING JOKE" yet him totally being a joke, I feel like I'm on the most elaborate episode of Punk'd right now. Just when I was about to be completely ok with my ignorance of trap, this comes around & just seemingly implodes the genre. I guess it's sort of fun? It doesn't sound anything like your average soundcloud loser, but if you blast the bass it pretty much has the same effect. Eh, guess I'm ok with it. At the very least, it's doing something different, even if I don't think it's something that's all that good.
1999 - Charli XCX ft Troye Sivan
Queen Charli XCX drops another pop jam attempting yet again to take stan twitter by storm to the point that the mainstream public FINALLY pays attention to her, & I'm not sure with this one. While her projects always knock it out of the park, the throwaway singles Charli releases (and by "releases" i mean "gives in to making it public after it gets leaked by all of her fans") have been VERY hit or miss, and this is...PROBABLY closer to a hit but not quite there. I don't know, I like it, but something isn't quite right with it. Charli's first verse is killer, rides the beat like a champion, so it's pretty easy to rule out her & the beat as the problems. Most would blame it on Troye Sivan, but I'm not sure if he's the issue either, because he's such a non factor i'm baffled he got billed as a feature. The lyrics could be eye rolling to some, retro pandering has been a problem the past 6 or so years & it doesn't seem to be slowing down that much, but I don't think it *exactly* applies here. 1999 is only used as a timestamp as to when both of these artists were very young, when everything seemed so fun & pure, rather than nostalgia for the year itself. Oddly, the music video goes against my theory, but music videos don't relate to the song 90% of the time anyway, so I can't see why I wouldn't be able to say the same for here! Overall, song is alright I guess, didn't seem to go anywhere as usual, so I guess that's another dud for the 2 & means Charli has to visit that heavenly Google Drive of hers one more time.
Expectations - Lauren Jauregui
lmao you think i'm actually gonna give my quick thoughts on this rather than a sprawling 20 paragraph review? You're crazy. I'm merely putting it here just to remind people to listen to it.
Goin' Off - Snow Tha Product
I guess I should probably talk briefly about a song I absolutely love on here, make it seem like I have SOME sort of happy bone in my body. Well alright, here it goes.
Enter Snow Tha Product. Female rapper chucking out mixtapes since she was 16, has been consistently been one of the best rappers around for over half a decade now. Or at the VERY least, one with the most personality. Just a few days ago she released a new song, Goin' Off, & it might be her best song yet. The amount of swagger this woman has is insane. This is why I usually trash artists for having "no personality", it's because I'm comparing it to artists like THIS. Snow is fucking LOSING IT over this track. There's like 7 different flows in the 2 & a half minute runtime over a very basic but fun as hell beat, & her bragging is exciting as always. In a way, the entire song seems to take a backseat to showcase in full force "Snow Tha Product is a fucking beast & you should know this by now". And she isn't wrong.
Taki Taki - DJ Snake ft Selena Gomez, Ozuna & Cardi B
Time for a try at whatever the hot new pop song is, and today's random ass line up of characters is an incompetent producer, a singer who can barely sing, and an artist that gets more boring the more I get exposed to him.
But Eastside by Benny Blanco ft Halsey & Khalid, came up months ago, so I guess I should go with something a bit more recent.
so "Taki Taki" I guess is what I'll go with. Now the first thing that comes to mind is "I only know how to speak English & even then I'm pretty bad at it, so what the fuck is a taki?" Translating isn't doing anything for me so I'll have to figure out through context I guess.
"Taki taki, taki taki, ¡rumba!"
...alright I think even if a figured out what "RUMBA!" was supposed to be I don't think that would help me. Well Cardi B's phoned in verse doesn't mention it at all, so does Selena mention it at all?
"They can try, pero no one can stop me
What my taki taki wants, yeah, My taki taki gets, uh"
...does it mean "vagina"? Did DJ Snake really think he could drop a song called "Vagina Vagina" & get away with it?
Oh so it means nothing. That's wonderful. No really, that's great. I LOVE songs that are just about nothing. Especially when none of the performers give a shit AND the drop sounds like dogshit. That's just wonderful.
Sunlight On Your Skin by ILoveMakonnen ft Lil Peep/Falling Down by XXXTENTACION ft Lil Peep
alright, finishing off with the big one, breaking out the the hot takes here that I'm sure will offend someone, if Lil Peep emotionally meant something to you i'd suggest just exiting out now, this is the last entry & you most likely don't want to read it. You're valid & you should feel valid. Good? Good!
SO I'm clearly not the biggest fan of Lil Peep, and this should be a surprise to no one. I have little use for sad music, and if Sufjan Stevens, Mount Eerie & Nick Cave don't do much for me, i don't think this dude will do much either. But in a sense, I *got* him & his appeal, I just was nowhere near the audience he's shooting for. This is music for depressed pre-teens to young adults, I'm an 18 year old jaded asshole who laughs at Simple Plan & jerks off to various female pop stars. But his music has been conveniently avoidable (even when he died, which is a bit sad), up until this song, with him collabing with diseased corpse XXXTENTACION without his permission. Now, that's just gross on his management's fault, but i won't get into that, because as rude as it may be, I don't *really* have much interested in how exploitative people are with dead people's music. Instead, I decided to finally listen to a Lil Peep song, nearly a whole year after I trashed Come Over When You're Sober. VERY surprisingly, the instrumental is quite pleasant! ILoveMakonnen sounds better than usual, overall it's an improvement to me!
...which in turn is what i think makes it Lil Peep's worst song
Because I don't find this sad. At all. Sounds like they made an emo remix of a Natasha Bedingfield song. Again, I didn't like Come Over When You're Sober, but it was sad as shit. Granted i thought it was laughable in a Simple Plan sort of way, but that's because I'm a douchebag (in a twisted sort of way, the version with X, as revolting of a person he was, sounds a lot more depressing). On the other end, it's about 2 gay men being super gay together, and that's awesome! So I'm supposed to feel happy! Except, i don't really feel that either. Them saying "man you love me & i love you, let's spend forever together!" about 8 times just over and over again in the same way doesn't do anything for me I'm sorry. I don't feel...ANY of that here. And I feel for people who really aren't super connected to Lil Peep, they aren't gonna feel much for this either. Sorry.
Now I could tackle another song that I actually like to send everyone away happy, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to end this on a downer. Because that's what 2018 is, a downer. See ya in a bit for the worst list, bitches.
it also annoy me when i hear songs like Ameno by Era and words like nigger from the mouth of niggers themselves. i also hate the fact people cuss on songs nobodys minds it they just bleep it when they should be banning them forever but if you do that on social media you get banned for life after 2 or 3 times. if 2018 was downer then 2019 2020 was and 2021 possibly will be downer for all indians
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but Mo Bamba is one of the most hilariously bad songs I've heard in a while. I can't seem to stop laughing whenever I hear it.
ReplyDelete