Crying In The Club - Camila Cabello (SONG REVIEW)

Oh Camila Cabello, what an odd story you have. As you all know, Camila Cabello is an "up and coming" pop star who used to be a member of the ever so popular girl group "Fifth Harmony". Now, I love this group's music, but I (and basically everyone else) have always thought Camila was easily the weakest member of the group. Her voice was just shrill and irritating, she stuck out loud and clear from the other girls, and NOT in a good way. But many fans and even their fucking label shoved her into the position as the one who would go solo. and with 1 feature on a shitty rap song, 1 absence of a popular group, and absolutely NO vocal training in between, Camila has launched herself as one of the biggest names in pop music right now, even bigger than Fifth Harmony. So with that in mind, I was anticipating what she would drop for the lead single of her easily predictable lead album. No joke, I had NO clue what direction she planned to go to, considering Fifth Harmony rarely ever wrote their own music, it's not like she had much writing chops. And when I saw that Cashmere Cat had his hands on this production, my interest only intensified. So, it's the big breakthrough for possibly the beginning of a lengthy career as the queen of pop music, how did it turn out?



God, what a shocker, it's terrible! And I genuinely am surprised by this, considering how she had a lot going for her in this song. But in the end, she just messes EVERYTHING up. The easiest place to start is the part that isn't *quite* her fault, the production. What in the fuck happened here. This song had 4 producers to make this beat, 2 of which being Cashmere Cat and Benny fucking Blanco, and we get THIS lackluster sack of shit that sounds nearly identical to Shape Of You by Ed Sherran? Think of the debut single from other famous artists who broke from their group. Crazy In Love by Beyonce? Fucking iconic, had one of the best horn lines in history. Like I Love You by Justin Timberlake? Smooth and sensual. Became the male face of pop music of the 2000s. Dilemma by Kelly Rowland? One of the biggest songs of ALL TIME! Hell, even last year, ZaYn made a smokey RnB joint that I may not like, but can certainly respect for the atmosphere it sets. But this? Absolutely fucking pathetic. It's just so basic, probably didn't take more than 5 minutes to make this shit. Anyone can slap a shitty 5-note tropical synth on some tribal drums and make a fucking pop song. No originality whatsoever, and nowhere CLOSE to the tone she was trying to go for.


Now, what is this song really about? With a title like "Crying In The Club", we gotta get something with some meat to it, right?

"You think, that you'll die without him
You know, that's a lie that you tell yourself"

Ohhh ok, so we're getting sad here, probably gonna be about sitting in a club depressed because of a break up, that's kinda cool.

"You think, that you'll die without him
You know, that's a lie that you tell yourself"

Questioning your inner conscious, of course. Sometimes you lie to yourself to hide from the truth that you can't handle. I'm starting to dig this!

 "So put your arms around me tonight
Let the music lift you up"

Wait I thought you were sa-

"Like you've never been so high
Open up your heart to me"

Oh you have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

"Ain't no crying in the club (Hey, hey)"

So it actually ISN'T about being sad at all, it's about being "uplifting" and "powerful" ABOUT sadness. It's called Crying In The Club because there ISN'T Crying In The Club! All surface level bullshit with a click bait title. Why did I expect anything else from this fucking snake.


Now. Camila said that this song means a lot to her, that she wrote it as a "healing process", basically scribbled all her feelings on a piece of paper and formed it into a piece of art, which I do respect. That's one of the purest way to make music, or any art. But what ISN'T pure is adding 7 other fucking writers to your song! If this song was such a healing process, you think she would've wrote it by herself instead of with over half a dozen other people. One of those people being fucking Sia, who's writing credit basically means "Help me push this to top 40 radio". What I'm trying to get at, is that she's lost a lot of artistic integrity in my eyes. Hell, Camila even SOUNDS like Sia on this track. Well, more like a diet Sia. A Bebe Rexha wannabe with a sore throat. A Bebe Rexha wannabe with a DESTROYED throat. Instead of her usual shrill self, she sounds much more raspy and it sounds fucking gross. Oh, and that "Genie in a Bottle" sample sounded nearly as bad as the Fastball butchering she did late last year. Yeah, I went there bitch.


Yeah, don't like this one fucking bit. A song that's supposed to be a sort of "healing process" that just so happens to be the debut single of a pop star who just left a group. A song that also happens to have 7 additional typical pop song writers, with a beat that JUST so happens to sound exactly like what the radio loves to fucking eat up and vomit radio spins until the public can't handle it anymore. Call it speculation, but I have a feeling that this was a *bit* calculated. And even if they were true, the least they could've done is made a decent song to go along with it. Fuck this garbage.

0/5