First artist that somehow improved was a dude who also debuted in 2011. Didn't see him that much after 2011, which is good, because he kinda sucks as a rapper. But, anyways, you did good Wiz. This *one* time, you did great.
No. 10: Roll Up - Wiz Khalifa (US: 56 / CA: N/A)
This is an interesting one, because it has a lot of comparisons to a song I don't like at all: One Call Away by Charlie Puth, which you probably remember from last year and *maybe* even remember it being on my Worst Hit Songs of 2016 list. And when I say a lot of similarities, I mean a LOT. Both songs are basically about being there at a drop of a dime for a girl, that whenever, wherever they're called up, they will come as a knight in shining armor to get your through your troubles. But the big difference is in the framing. Charlie Puth acts like he's the mystical being that will make all this girls feelings go away, and how "Superman has NOTHING on him", because Charlie is this miracle worker who can solve all the worlds problems. It's obnoxious, cheesy, and most importantly, sounds fake as fuck. Wiz on the other hand says he isn't really that type of guy at all.
"I ain't gonna flex, I’m not gonna front"
Wiz is blatantly saying he's not this macho man can fix whatever's thrown at him, but if his girl calls him up, he's gonna give it a shot because he want to do anything in his power to support her. It rides the 3- way line between cheesy, insincere, and sweet, but I think in the end it settles in the latter. Wiz's delivery also supports him well here. He's always had this laid back, solid flow to him, and it fits this content perfectly, it makes it less of a persona and more of a reality to me. Wiz really kills the hook too, where very minimal effects on his voice push him through the melody and makes him sound great. He's not much of a singer, but he's still got a bunch of style and swagger to his delivery.
The beat is also lovely. The rising, glazed synth and the clapping beat and percussion creates a very relaxing sound. It's like looking out a window of an airplane early in the morning. The synths just continue to rise and rise as the song goes on, but it never crashes down or becomes uncomfortable, it's just a satisfying, uplifting motion throughout the entire song, which is NOT something you ever hear in rap songs. So yeah, good job Wiz Khalifa. You suck massive cocks, but this song doesn't, congrats.
Yeah, I'm a sucker for cheesy pop ballads. What are you gonna do about it?
No. 9: Marry You - Bruno Mars (US: N/A / CA: 70)
Not much to say about this one, I just find it really cute. Yeah I'm a dude, but fuck you I can buy into this cheap bait bullshit if I want. Bruno sells it very well (as he always does), and writes some very compelling lyrics along with it.
"Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice?/Who cares baby, I think I want to marry you"
Which, ok yeah it LOOKS stupid, but the way it's delivered makes it sound oh so sweet. Bruno has already made songs like this though, but what makes this one stand out from all his other snoozefests is the compositions, which I love. It sounds very Christmas sounding, sets a very happy, upbeat mood.
...can you tell I have nothing to say about this one?
Ahhhh Cobra Starship, what the fuck happened to you guys?
No. 8: You Make Me Feel... - Cobra Starship ft Sabi (US: 48 / CA: 42)
You guys made total trash for 5 years straight, 4 ALBUMS straight of repetitive, obnoxious, party club garbage. You finally pull yourself together, pull out an underground pop starlet to sing your hook, and make a club smash that's actually enjoyable, and then you disappear? And I don't just mean off the charts, Cobra Starship just stopped making music entirely after this. Well, at least they went out with a bang, because this is fantastic. Right as the club boom started to die off, Cobra Starship set fire to it's soul for one last hurrah. It's rather simplistic as well, it's a fun clapping beat, gritty guitar line that rides under the mix, and a juicy 4 note synth coming together to make your standard club track. But the difference between all the club shit that I'd usually put on a worst list and this is the level of control. Nothing squeals off key, nothing is mixed badly, no awkward rhythms, everything works how it should. It rides the exact same wave for the entire song with almost no switch up, but it's melody is already so captivating that it doesn't bother you at all, and you don't want it to switch up either. Those "la la la la la" sections on the chorus sound wonderful coming out of Sabi's mouth (Did I write that weird? I may have wrote that weird). And this dude also sounds pretty competent, WAY better than he did on Good Girls Go Bad, their other hit that sucked ass. This is probably the one exception where I actually welcomed their change in dialing back the sleaze, because it makes this much more digestible. Stuff like "Good Girls Go Bad" or "Hot Mess" are songs that may seem decent at first, but only get more grating on repeated listens. This stays excellent every time you hear it. It's an excellent club song, but also just an excellent song in general.
Every best list I do HAS to have some country on it somewhere. I love me some country when it's done right (so like, barely ever). And honestly, I'm not sure I'd put this in that category. I like country when it dabbles into pop rock (Fix by Chris Lane) or when it's insanely organic and rooted (like all of Southern Family), but this is almost something that belongs in between.
No. 7: Take A Back Road - Rodney Atkins (US: 90 / CA: N/A)
This is just great pop country right here. What makes this stand out most to me is this guys vocals. He doesn't just have the standard overload of charisma like a Jake Owen or something, Rodney Atkins is different. His voice reminds me of the best aspects of warm milk. All the smooth, calming soothing feel, and without all the slimy disgusting sludge of the drink itself. His tones are great too. He hits a few high and low notes, both of which aren't *perfect*, but they keep the vocal melody fresh and clean.
Then there's the production, which is just perfect pop country tropes. Slick guitar riff, real organic drums opposed to shitty drum machines, and even some welcome steel guitars in the back that I really enjoy. It flows marvelously, the melody is catchy as all fuck, and the hook is really catchy and vibrant. It's just different enough from the verses to become satisfying, but still similar enough to the verses to stay connected and feel conjoined. It's fantastic to vibe out to. Yes. vibing out to a country song, fuck you. If there's anywhere this song struggles, it's lyrically,
"Sit in that six-lane backed up traffic/Horns are honking, I've about had it"
The songs content on it's own doesn't bother me, it's actually cool. A dude who's stuck in traffic in the city and wishes he could just go out to the country and take a back road. It's both compelling and an understandable country topic. Everyone gets angry at traffic, because 90% of drivers are fucking idiots. But some of the lines here are a bit iffy.
"Put a little gravel in my travel"
That internal rhyme just sounds so awkward and creepy, knocks the song down a bit for me. But still, fantastic country song. I love it.
Female Canadian pop singers are my favourite. Now, there's plenty of them that you might already know. LIGHTS, Carly Rae Jepson, they're critical darlings. But now it's time to talk about a girl named Anjulie, and her mega pop smash.
No. 6: Brand New Bitch - Anjulie (US: N/A / CA: 52)
Stripping this down to it's most basic form, it's Kesha-lite material. But Kesha-lite material is still better than most stuff on the pop charts, and this certainly applies. God, what a fucking pop jam this is. Despite this not topping the list. this is what I want ALL my pop songs to sound like. Powerful synths, techno beat drums, backing synths that add that extra set of flavour, and percussion that ties the binds around every element to make the composition sound as full and meaty as possible. And most importantly, a singer with fucking flare and personality. Look, I loved "Pure Heroine", and Lorde certainly made a huge impact on the charts, but I'm not sure that was for the better. I'm sick of all these down temp, vibey pop songs that all sound the same. These Lorde wannabes need to take a fucking hike, I'm sick of them all (even you Alessia Cara (you're still my girl tho)). Pop music needs to go back to when it had a fucking pulse, like this. Anjulie sounds sassy and sexy as hell, she owns her performance and shows a ton of finesse throughout the entire track. The way she bends different vocal effects to her will is fucking incredible.
The song also has some fantastic content. It's about Anjulie leaving a dude and trying to reinvent herself, but is still gonna keep herself true to her sassy and independent nature. As she says, she's becoming a "Brand new bitch". Still a bitch mind you, just a new one. And I don't know, maybe it's just how susceptible I am to trashy valley girls, but this works wonders for me. Some lyrics with actual bite to it, I like a bit of edge in my pop music (not THAT type of edge, calm down kiddies). So yeah, excellent pop song, highly recommend it. Don't check any of her other songs tho, they're shit.
Man, I might get shit for this one. But I don't care. All I care about is that Lil Wayne tried to make an emotional acoustic guitar ballad and it somehow fucking worked.
No. 5: How To Love - Lil Wayne (US: 23 / CA: 83)
Yes, I 100% buy into How To Love by Lil Wayne. And really, why shouldn't I? Wayne been through a lot of shit, even back in 2011 before all the Birdman shit went down. So him knocking that 1 sensitive song out that all rappers do eventually doesn't surprise me at all. What does surprise me is how great this song is! Now, without any correlation at all, I listened to that 2010 Lil Wayne rock album that came out before this, and it was fucking atrocious. There were MANY problems, but one of the main ones was the very blatant observation that Lil Wayne couldn't play the guitar to save his life. Another huge problem was Lil Wayne trying to sing instead of rap, which was arguably even worse. Both of these apply here, and they aren't much better if I'm being honest. But the main thing that makes this song work is mood and tone.
Now I don't like Lana Del Ray at all. She's supposed to make you feel sad and emotional (I think. Again, don't know shit about Lana), but all she ends up doing is bore me. But what Lil Wayne did hear got me, and I have no idea why. The plicky, very awkwardly played guitar, the creepy clicking sounds that match Lil Wayne's depressing struggle of a voice, and in addition to the story he's telling about a girl who's never learned how to love, and thus can't love someone back (for lack of a nicer word) properly, causing her to get caught in this vicious cycle of never being able to hold a relationship because of her insecurities and holy fucking shit when did a Lil Wayne song get THIS fucking depressing? I FEEL a strong emotion from a Lil Wayne song that isn't disgust! That amazes me.
Look, this is a weird song. But I fucking adore it. I'd say I hope Lil Wayne makes something like this again, but please never do.
And on a completely different note, INTRODUCING....THE QUEEN.
No. 4: We R Who We R - Kesha (US: 30 / CA: 35)
Man did pop music have a GREAT year in 2011, Kesha being one of the main reasons. In case you don't know, I fucking love Kesha. Kesha is the best, she is my queen, she is OUR queen, and should be treated as such. This isn't even in her top 20 best songs, and it's still incredible. Kesha's single's all seem to follow the pattern of taking overused tropes and either parodying them, or reinventing them, making the topic more fresh than ever. TiK ToK was a parody on standard party/club music, Your Love is My Drug was a take on the whole "Love = Drugs" metaphor, and for We R Who We R, she took the most daunting challenge yet: The Self Esteem Anthem.
Oh the self esteem anthem, I could rant for days on why I fucking hate them. But all you need to know is the fact that I hate them, and that I love this song, meaning Kesha did something nearly impossible. While I do love her choices of sleazy synths and booming drums, her biggest attribute has always been her overabundance of sass and swagger. She demolishes every song she's on, and leaves a scorched Earth in her path. She sells every line she sings so well, and her voice is just fucking beautiful. She uses overuses auto tune like an instrument, similar to what T-Pain does. But just like T-Pain (but to a much stronger level), she can actually sing too. She switches between her legitimate pipes and auto tuned slaying on a dime and both sound magical to the ears. The way the song flows is also so satisfying. The melody Kesha toys with in the verses is the most rachet thing I think I've ever heard, and it's fucking perfect. I never thought self empowerment anthem crossed with club music would be so brilliant, but Kesha proved me wrong once again. Fuck, just the way Kesha says words sometimes is excellent. (Now excuse me while I try and interpret Kesha's lyric structures through text using varying space)
"And
of
COURSE WE DOES"
"Got Jesus on mA NECKLACE-ACE-ACE"
"Hittin on dudes
.
.
.
...hard?"
This is brilliant pop music, absolutely brilliant. It's only bumped out of the top 3 because Rihanna is hot.
...how the fuck has this happened more than once
oh jeez, THIS is gonna be a hard one to defend. But fuck it, this is a fantastic pop song, and I'm gonna praise it until I pass out. Or get tied up, one of the two.
No. 3: S&M - Rihanna (US: 12 / CA: 20)
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, I find this sexy as all hell. Shut Up and Drive was stupid, stuff like Pour It Up is way too dark, but this? Yeah, it nails it on the fucking head. Every aspect here is fucking hot, especially vocally speaking, which is a surprise from Rihanna. This might actually be here best performance if I'm being honest. Her softer, breathy tones on the verses, her powerful, strong voice on the chorus, and of course the sexy, rough snarls on the post chorus chanting "SSSS & MMMM", which just sounds fucking fantastic.
The production here is phenomenal, I don't give a fuck what anybody says. The drums have a solid rhythm, the claps match well, the whirlwind sounding mixing effect on the hook wraps everything together quite well, and maybe I've just been listening to too much Kesha, but this loud, sleazy synth sounds fucking great. It fits Rihanna, it fits the subject manner, and it sounds excellent. Speaking of Kesha, this totally sounds like a song she could perform. It would fit in her catalog quite well, because this is basically Rihanna's equivalent of Dirty Love. It's a bit gross, and a bit uncomfortable (most notably that "sex in the air/I love the smell of it" line, super weird girl), but it's powerful, boisterous, massive sounding, and most important of all, sexy as FUCK. Especially this line.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones/But chains and whips excite me"
God I fucking love that. A statement of her taking all the shit the media throws at her and twisting it into a sexual fantasy and overall pleasure. Absolutely awesome. Another very important part of the song to note of is the repetition of the phrase "NA NA NA NA CMON", which not only sounds great and is one of the best filler lyrics in pop music of the decade, it's also an excellent melody that examples a taunt in 2 way. A taunt towards whatever lucky son of a bitch Rihanna decided to sack tonight
Wow, Marianas Trench made a pop masterpiece? What a surprise!
No. 2: Haven't Had Enough - Marianas Trench (US: N/A / CA: 81)
No but seriously, I'm kinda surprised this works as well as it does. There's a lot here that could've gone wrong, especially the vocal melody. I mean, really Ramsay? You took the "Miss me miss me, now you gotta kiss me" vocal melody for the verses? Not only that, but you somehow made it into one of the best pop songs of the decade? Absolutely amazing to me, like how the fuck did he do that.
Then Josh Ramsay himself. He's always been an all star singer, but the amount of high notes he goes for on this song is ridiculous. This was his first song he performed in a pop direction, so it makes sense why he over compensated, but it still floors me he throws so many notes he has to hit and he fucking nails them all.
The rest of the production is on point as well. The shiny synth, the incredible drums and backing guitars that play the same melody on the pre chorus and sound majestic as fuck, and the main guitar that sizzles with massive amounts of fire. Marianas Trench have always gotten great compositions together (a decent amount I like more than this as well), but I don't think they've made a pop song this legendary before. Every single moment is memorable. It's kinda weird my lack of things to say about this. But when a song is so perfect, there really isn't MUCH to say about it. It gets everything right despite a lot of horrible decisions. Speaking of which, honorable mentions time!
H.M 1: She's Dope - Down With Webster (US: N/A / CA: 100)
I seriously have no idea what's going on in this song. It's a confusing disaster with weird lyrics, weirder motives and even weirder production choices. But I love it.
H.M 2: The Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga (US: 29 / CA: 14)
Gaga can make some solid pop music when she puts her mind to it. That saxophone solo put it on this list.
H.M 3: Last Friday Night - Katy Perry (US: 14 / CA: 12)
Katy Perry is awful, but she somehow made an excellent pop song. Go figure.
H.M 4: What's My Name? - Rihanna ft Drake (US: 20 / CA: 32)
Drake's verse on here is fucking phenomenal. Everything else is pretty solid too, but pales in comparison.
H.M 5: Headlines - Drake (US: 85 / CA: N/A)
It's a great rap song, it just gets a bit exhausting after a while. Also the fact that it's nowhere near the best song on Take Care doesn't help.
H.M 6: Knee Deep - Zac Brown Band ft Jimmy Buffet (US: 80 / CA: N/A)
I'm a sucker for beach fodder. Also, it's kinda cool to see the originator (at least in my eyes) of beach fodder on this song.
H.M 7: Blow - Kesha (US: 33 / CA: 57)
This would've been Number 7 but I've talked about Kesha on nearly half of these entries, I don't need another full entry of her. Luckily, this next entry doesn't have her anyways. Speaking of which, my No. 1.
You all saw this coming.
No. 1: 6 Foot 7 Foot - Lil Wayne ft Corey Gunz (US: 41 / CA: N/A)
Yeah, Lil Wayne topped my list. My BEST list. Some people will say this song is impressive, but the sample and production is annoying. Others will say it's great, few even say it's the best hit song of 2011. But I say more than that. This is a fucking masterpiece in music. Yes, you heard me. Everything here is fucking incredible. First off, this wack fucking sample. The banana boat song? Really Wayne? Why would you do this? And why does it work so well? The deadly bass, the crispy hi hats, the hard hitting claps, and especially those backing vocals. Those tie the entire beat together honestly. This is probably the only great beat Bangladesh has ever made, but you gotta give him credit for this one, it's absolutely stunning. The song overall just sounds so high energy and distorted, but still incredibly controlled and expertly laid out. It's one of those rap songs that feels so awesome to rap to that you can barely feel the shame of people judging you!
Corey Gunz is on here, and I have no idea who he is. He didn't have much success after this, I don't even think Wayne signed him. But his verse here is pretty fucking cool. He's got a bunch of dope bars, but my favourite is probably this one.
"Niggas think they high as I, I come laugh at your ruler"
High in both the mind sense and the altitude sense, and ruler in the master sense and the measuring sense respectively. A great one-two of double wordplay here.
But as great as he may be, no one gives a shit about Corey Gunz. People care about Lil Wayne. Now I've had my problems with Lil Wayne (as you already know), but none of those exist here. He throws all of his issues out the window and just spits straight fire on this track. I could go on for days on why every single line here actually connects to each other in a clever way, and how both in that context and on it's own all these bars are fucking monstrous, but I think I'll just list my favourite lines and call it a day.
"Two bitches at the same time; synchronized swimmers"
"Got the girl twisted ‘cause she open when you twist her"
"Life is the bitch, and death is her sister/Sleep is the cousin—what a fuckin' family picture!/You know Father Time, and we all know Mother Nature/It's all in the family, but I am of no relation"
"Black and white diamonds; fuck segregation!"
"I think you stand under me if you don't understand me"
"Married to the money, fuck the world; that's adultery"
"Glass half empty, half full, I'll spill ya"
"Bitch, real Gs move in silence like lasagna"
"Jumped in a wishin' well, now wish me well/Tell 'em kiss my ass, call it kiss and tell
As you can tell, Wayne kills it. His bars are on point, he's not slurring his words too much, and his flow is fucking legendary. And what puts this so high is that I legit didn't think Wayne had it in him anymore. I mean, he hasn't sounded this good since his fucking mixtape days, and that's sayin something! Lil Wayne blew all my expectations away, and then some. It's the Best Hit Song of 2011, and the best rap hit of the decade.
As a filthy American, I only know of Anjulie for her feature on TheFatRat's track Fly Away.
ReplyDeletecheck it out issa good song from a great artist
yus
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