H.M 1: Throw It In The Bag - Fabulous ft The-Dream (US: 71 / CA: N/A)
I have no clue what's wrong with me, but I really like this. The bouncy beat & heavy drums create a pretty fun beat, and this is the 1 song I've heard where The-Dream actually doesn't sound half bad. And Fabulous' bars are...um...
...we don't talk about them.
H.M 2: Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy (US: 79 / CA: N/A)
This is just hilarious. A lovely guilty pleasure that I will willingly listen to at any moment. Sue me.
H.M 3: Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3 (US: 30 / CA: 37)
Yet another guilty pleasure that I totally dig. Although you gotta admit that "Tell your boyfriend if he says he got beef/that I'm a vegetarian & I aint fuckin scared of him" is a fucking fire line.
H.M 4: Sweet Dreams - Beyonce (US: 66 / CA: 82)
I felt bad for mentioning 3 different Beyonce songs on my worst list, so it's nice to know that I could at least even it out slightly with this great pop song.
H.M 5: Goodbye - Kristina DeBarge (US: 96 / CA: N/A)
An excellent pop song with a ridiculous sample. I'm sure to other people this would be an embarrasing song to like, but I don't care I enjoy it.
H.M 6: Rusted From The Rain - Billy Talent (US: N/A / CA: 61)
Not the best Canadian rock song (we'll get to that later), but It's still a solid track. It's probably the hardest rock song to get popular this year, so if that appeals to you, check this out.
H.M 7: Rehab - Rihanna (US: N/A / CA: 89)
Easily the best single off of Good Girl Gone Bad, & one of my favourite Rihanna singles. Seriously America, how was this not on your year end list?
Anyways, who cares about those songs. Most of them were guilty pleasures anyways. Now we're gonna get into the real gems. Here are the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2009!
Probably the most controversial song on this list, as this guy has been VERY hated recently, and I don't really blame them I'll be honest. The dude has been rapping for 8 years, and he's starting to run out of fumes. But let's not forget that before he was featured on every song on the planet, he made some pretty cool stuff.
No. 10 - Best I Ever Had - Drake (US: 22 / CA: 79)
It's kinda hard to explain what about this works so well for me. Simply put, It's a track that he specifically dedicates to his girl & I think it's pretty sweet. Sure that "I can make your pussy whistle" line is a bit too much, but some of these lines just hit the spot for me.
"You could have my heart, or we could share it like the last slice"
Like c'mon, you gonna tell me that isn't adorable?
"Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on/That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong"
Drake tells this girl that at her most natural & when she's most like herself, THAT'S when he likes her the most. Not when she's being provocative or sucking him off, but when she's just being her. Call it soft all you want, and it totally is. But Drake aint some street thug, he does a sing-rap shtick where he talks about his feelings, & I think it works well here.
In the 2nd verse is where he starts to appreciate his girl for her looks & how great she fucks him and yadda yadda whatever. Some people say this ruins the track, but I'd argue the opposite. He loves making love with his girl, and he's gonna say how much he does. He isn't some sort of pig for doing it, he spent the entire first verse explaining how he likes his girl for all her qualities outside of the sex & the body & all that. He loves his girl sexually & he's not gonna beat around the bush for it just to get airplay or something. He plays each side equally and loves each side of her equally, & I gotta respect that.
What really puts this on the list is the atmosphere it has. Just so chilling & relaxing, it's something you can loop over & over again & just get yourself lost into, y'know? The great piano line & drumline mixed with this percussion creates an oddly soothing sound. Drake also sounds great here. He doesn't have an amazing singing voice, but the filters on his vocals sound great & match the production really well. I also dig how he rides the beat on the verses, he sounds like he's actually talking to his girl & not just rapping about her. Drake probably won't make a song like this ever again, so I'll take what I can get.
I have no shame. When I hear great pop music, I will praise it to the heavens for being great pop music, no matter who it's by. So, for all you people who hate this person and/or this song (and I know you do), time to skip to the next segment because most of you will NOT like this pick.
No. 9: Party In The U.S.A - Miley Cyrus (US: 29 / CA: 33)
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I don't think this song is a lyrical masterpiece or anything. The song itself is fucking stupid & basically entirely filler. However, no one said pop music needed to have a brain, just a pulse. And I am 100% behind this production. The slick guitar line, clapping beat & shaky percussion make a damn good beat for a pop song. I'm not gonna say it's revolutionary or anything, it's just a sound that is very pleasant to the ears. And the explosive chorus that adds the incredibly thick layer of fuzz & 8-bit sound effects just sound so right to me. I can't explain it, but the chorus just has the essence of fun to it. Call it stupid, call it annoying, fuck you could call it grating, but you can't deny this is one of the most fun songs of 2009. And to be fair, I don't think Miley does a bad job either.
I listened to a lot of country music as a kid. Probably a big surprise to hear that, but it's true. My mom was a huge country fan, and thus when I was a young, it's the only radio station I really listened to. So, when I revisit the mid to late 2000s billboard charts and I find a country song I liked years ago, I get lowkey obsessed with it. While that is exactly what happened with this song, I still believe that this is still an excellent song anyways.
No. 8: Whatever It Is - Zac Brown Band (US: 94 / CA: N/A)
Not much to say about this one, I'm just a sucker for breezy pop-country tracks. But I will admit, seeing how most country songs are douchey and dumb as all hell, I do find this song pretty sweet.
"She's got whatever it is/It blows me away/She's everything I want to say to a woman/But I couldn't find the words to say"
Go ahead and say how cheesy and stupid saying "Yo girl you got...it! Whatever it is, you got it, and I like it!", but the sentiment and charm is there. It's also played in a very earnest way that just makes me smile instead of groan in agony.
The production isn't that special, but fuck it I like it. Again, very breezy and relaxing to listen to, kinda gives you that feeling of lying on your bed in the early morning on your day off of school when you were a kid. The tone is perfect, and is so happy to listen to. Probably the happiest song on this list, and one of the happiest song on the Year End in general. And of course, we got Zac Brown himself. I've had problems with Zac Brown Band's songs before (believe me, do I have some problems for the tasteless Castaway, or the abomination that is Beautiful Drug), but I've always loved their vocals. This track is no different. A very rich but light and smooth voice, perfect for country music in my opinion. I love this, every second, no problems with it, just unfortunately missed being higher on the list for really no reason. But please, check this out if you haven't, you more than likely won't regret it.
As I said earlier, Rehab by Rihanna BARELY missed this list. But that doesn't mean she isn't gonna make this list, it just means she's gonna drag Jay-Z and Kanye West along with her.
No. 7: Run This Town - Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West (US: 31 / CA: 53)
I'm sure this song is about something deep, but I don't give a shit. I'm sure Kanye and Jay-Z spit fire verses, but I don't give a shit. What I DO give a shit about is the chorus from Rihanna. I mean god damn, talk about a hook. It surrounds and swamps the whole song, with the atmosphere it sets still lingering through the verses and then brought back to life by the chorus again. Not only that, but it's also what brings this beat to life. The hook doesn't really build the song up, but it more stabilizes it. Throughout the verses (Jay'Z's verses in particular), the beat slowly starts losing it's pattern and by the end almost vanishes, until the hook comes back and brings everything back around. Now I can sit here mouthing away about atmosphere all I want, but what deserves some more notice is Rihanna's performance, which is fucking phenomenal. She isn't even overselling it or anything, she just rides the beat and fits the beat well. There isn't much to this song I need to explain really (and since this made the list almost (well, literally) solely on the hook, I can't put it much higher either). It's a song I feel speaks more itself, nothing you can really explain honestly. It's a must listen, check it out if you somehow haven't.
As I said, massive pop music fan. I give pop music way more praise than I probably should and definitely way more than it deserves. But I'm sorry, I love it. Music that makes me happy will always be my favourite type of music for obvious reasons. And this is the perfect example of damn good pop music.
No. 6: Waking Up In Vegas - Katy Perry (US: 36 / CA: 28)
Everything about this is formulaic. It's clear as fuckin day. BUT, it's aware of that, and it's a formula that is perfected. Soft clean verses with a bombastic anthemic chorus, I love it. The thing that stands out for me is Katy herself, and it's why this made it this high. I had 0 expectation for a Katy Perry song when it comes to a good performance, and she blew me away honestly. No soulless garbage, no caddy bitchiness, just some solid vocals with a ton of charisma and personality (yes, I said a Katy Perry song has personality, sue me). Unlike most pop song tho, I actually like the lyrics to this one! Something about the emotions and feel of getting absolutely shitfaced in Vegas is so much fun to me. I mean, doing it is probably disgusting is emotionally damaging, but HEARING about it is fun as all hell. I'm sure there's some double meaning here and it isn't actually about Vegas at all, but fuck you I don't care. I like it being about Vegas, so it's about fuckin Vegas.
I don't feel I really need to defend this one, I think everyone likes it. The clean guitar line, solid drums, shiny synth, it's just a fun sound, and frankly, 2009 needed a LOT more of stuff like this.
2009 was the year of Kanye. 808s basically molded a new genre of rap and as far as I know is the reason a lot of artists exist today (at the very least, it gave Kid Cudi a career, for better or for worse). Now, 808s had a lot of great songs, but my favourite is and has always, like the boring person I am, been the big single. But unlike most big singles, this deserves to be this high, because I don't think I've ever heard ANYTHING like this.
No. 5: Heartless - Kanye West (US: 9 / CA: 47)
This is such an oddly depressing song. The production is fucking haunting. Minimal percussion, some synth hits and quite possibly the saddest sound you can make with a bass. Matched with Kanye's autotune singing as well as subtle moaning in the background is just soul crushing. Such a cold, closed off, bitter atmosphere, it's a bit unsettling to listen to. Yet, it peaked at No. 2 on Billboard. It's shocking to me.
The lyrics are just so, well, heartless really. This bitch took Kanye's heart and stomped on it tenfold. And Kanye is NOT taking it very well.
"Cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo?/Just remember that you talking to me though/You need to watch the way you talking to me, yo/I mean, after all the things that we been through"
Kanye is absolutely crushed, but then, something mircaulous happens, almost too good to be true.
"And now you wanna get me back/And you gonna show me/So you walk around like you don't know me"
She want's to be back with Kanye! This is great news, right? Well, no. Not quite.
"You got a new friend, well, I got homies/But in the end it's still so lonely"
Kanye is a smart dude. Might not seem like it, but he is. He knows that if he gets back with this girls, then there's a solid chance that she will leave him again, only hurting him more in the long run. And not only has she ruined Kanye's relationship with her forever, but also with everyone around him. He can have all the friends, bitches, and money in the world, but nothing can fix the hole this girl created, not even the said girl that gave him that said hole.
"How could you be so Dr. Evil?/You bringing out a side of me that I don't know"
Aside from the Dr. Evil part, which is a tad bit corny for the situation at hand honestly, this line is really telling of Kanye's feelings. How he's acting isn't really him. He's doing things he'd never do.
"Why do she be so mad at me for?/Homie, I don't know, she's hot and cold/I won't stop, won't mess my groove up/‘Cause I already know how this thing go"
This is where Kanye basically loses his mind. Starting to get closed off from everything, not really being rational. Starts to get less sad and more angrily egotistical. He's completely blocked out all emotions. And the fact that this is based off at the very least a little bit of truth is horrific honestly.
I adore this song, but I can barely listen to it. It's an example of a song that's brilliant but exhausting to listen to. There's sometimes I just can't take it. But when I do, oh man, is it something special.
Now, serious Kanye is great and all, but I like his more fun, ridiculous, sometimes corny side. Speaking of that...
No. 4: Forever - Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Eminem (US: 88 / CA: N/A)
It's still pretty surprising that this song actually existed. The Mount Rushmore of 2009 hip hop came together and created this 6 minute long brag rap track, and it charted. Pretty high too, enough to make 2 year end lists. Now a lot of that can be chalked up to straight name recognition and star power, but I'd also say a part of it's success was because of how fucking awesome it is!
The production here is dope. Drums and snares, some catchy as all percussion, and those beautiful horns in the back of the mix that just makes every verse of the song sound even better. I also love the alarm sound that plays in the middle of each verse, usually after the performer gives their fire line. Then the hook, holy shit. Fuck Post Malone, THIS is something I can vibe out to. Like I said earlier, Drake isn't necessarily a great singer, but he kills it here. The melody is just fantastic. But, surprisingly, you know what he's better at than singing? Rapping.
"Like a sprained ankle boy I ain't nothing to play with"
Despite this coming from the softest rapper of all time, you gotta admit, this line is fire.
"Swimming in the money, come and find me, Nemo"
As far as I'm concerned, any line that can reference Finding Nemo is amazing.
"Drop the mix tape that shit sounded like an album"
And you would do the opposite with VIEWS 7 years later. Ohh how the mighty have fallen...
Then you got Kanye's verse, which...ok, I like Kanye's braggadocios side. But fuck me does he have some corny lines here.
"I stuck my dick inside this life until that bitch came"
So you're gonna...fuck life? Alright, suit yourself.
"I had raped the game young/You can call it statutory"
Not touching that one. But despite how disgusting that line is, we can all agree it's wack as fuck.
"Trade the Grammy plaques just to have my granny back/Remember she had that bad hip like a fanny pack?"
No one wants to hear about your grandma Kanye (ok a lot of people do actually, but sure as fuck not in a brag rap). I can't really get into this verse that much. I appreciate Ye's energy, but he just isn't spitting anything interesting. Lil Wayne however, fucking destroys his verse.
"OK, hello it's the Martian/Space jam Jordans"
Referencing how people as well as yourself refer to you as a "martian" AND referencing The Martian from Looney Tunes? Fuck. Yes.
"Shhh, my foot's sleeping on the gas/No brake pads, no such thing as last, uh."
This line isn't even that great, I just fucking love how it's delivered. Wayne sounds so sly and collected, which is something that NEVER happens. Also, there's this slick as fuck piano riff that plays that also appears at the beginning of his verse and at various parts throughout of it, and it's the best part of the song.
And then, we got Eminem's verse, the one everyone goes crazy over. And my opinion of it? Well, I look at these 4 verses like an Oreo. The black parts are good, and the white part is overrated as all fuck but still just equally as amazing as the black part please stop using this dumb fucking comparison.
"There they go, packing stadiums as Shady spits his flow/Nuts they go, macadamian they go so ballistic, whoa"
The fact that he found something that rhymes with "macadamian" that doesn't sound totally corny is an impressive feet honestly.
"He ain't had him a buzz like this since the last time that he overdosed"
Yeah so like...a year before this song was made. Nice try Em.
"And spit true feelings, until our tooth fillings come flying up out of our mouths"
See, it isn't THAT hard to make a clean bar involving teeth! (Lookin at your dumbass Big Sean)
"I'm Hannibal Lecter so just in case you're thinking of saving face/You ain't gonna have no face to save by the time I'm through with this place"
*insert HE'S GONNA EAT YOUR FACE quote from Todds Best of 2009*
Couldn't find the quote and I'm too lazy to edit. Fuck it, the song is amazing, Kanye's verse knocks it out of the top 3 of this list, onto the next entry.
I hate to do another tie, not to mention one for the same year. This time the songs aren't THAT similar either, I just legit cannot decide which one to put over the other and I refuse to do so. It's from my favourite band and both of these songs are my fucking children. And they are both amazing.
No. 3: All To Myself/Cross My Heart - Marianas Trench (US: N/A / CA: 43/47)
I love Marianas Trench, and these 2 singles off their incredible album Masterpiece Theater are some of my favourites. While they don't SOUND the same, they do have the same pieces that make an excellent song. The massive sounding hook, catchy as fuck guitar line, and Josh Ramsay belting his amazing voice out. As far as the production goes, I'd say Cross My Heart wins. The song is very centered around the mesmerizing guitar riff and slow paced claps and gives Josh a lot of room to breath, making his voice sound near it's best. But on the other hand, you have All To Myself, which wins on a more objective level. It's a lot more controlled, it has an excellent structure and flow to it, and not to mention Josh's high note like oh my god I adore them. Lyrically, they're similar. All To Myself is about how much Josh want's this girl but can't seem to get her attention, and Cross My Heart is him trying to get this very same girl back, begging and pleading for another shot. Both narratives are very relate-able (especially All To Myself) and written very cleverly and tightly. These 2 are both awesome as fuck pop rock songs from one of the best bands of all time. Hopefully they have another hit soon, we need that specific rock energy back in the mainstream.
If you've listened to more than 5 pop songs, you'll notice almost all of them have to do with love in some sort. A very popular formula (especially in the 2000s) was vapid pop divas trying to come off as sexy. I've never bought into it. It's always 1 thing that sets it off to me, whether it be the tone not matching perfectly, the production being too hard or too soft, the lyrics being too personal or maybe disgusting, or maybe the performer/s can't portray it properly. But in 2009, there was a very ignored top 10 hit that couldn't even make the US Year End. But, we up North got it. And not only is it straight up pop perfection, it's sexy as all hell.
No. 2: Love Sex Magic - Ciara & Justin Timberlake
Everything about this is so smooth and sensual yet upbeat and fresh. The first time I heard this I was blown away, and even now I still am. The sparkly synths, the shiny synths, the rhythmic drums, it sounds so...lusty. It isn't some lush, soft "hey we're gonna have sex tonight get ready" type of shit, it's actually sexy. It's injected with lust & swagger, with a straight up "Let's fuck right now" type vibe. But what sells it the most to me are these performances. I've never been a huge fan of Justin Timberlake I'll be honest, and I've always kinda lowkey hated Ciara, but this? Boom, they click perfectly. The chemistry between these two is absolutely unmatched. They both have excellent voices, hit low and high notes perfectly (aswell at proper times to match the tone & the lyrics), they bounce of each other incredibly well, and most important of all, are completely believable. 2003 Ciara as some gangster? Fuck no. 2007 Ciara as some hardcore feminazi? Fuck no. 2009 Ciara as a sex goddess? Yeah, I buy it. Especially when she hits you with this line:
"If it was a million me's, talkin sexy, do you like that/Give you an end though boy, if I give you my space and I need you to push it right back"
You KNOW she's not frontin. And Justin hits her with equally matched intensity.
"If you wanna grab my neck, talk sexy, do me like that/Just do what I taught you girl when I give you my heat, and I need you to push it right back"
The whole entire song is just some sly as fuck foreplay. The way they deliver lines allows them to try and out-do each other, but at the same time let the other shine when they're in the limelight. And it all sounds even better over this fantastic melody. Throughout the entire song, everything stays the same, there's no switch up. But when everything is THIS expertly layered, expertly crafted, produced, and mixed, there's no need to change it to anything else. This song is absolutely fucking incredible, damn near jaw dropping. But, it's somehow not number 1. But you want to know what is?
*SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT* I FUCKING FORGOT THAT GREEN LIGHT BY JOHN LEGEND & ANDRE 3000 EXISTED, AND THUS IS NOT ON THIS LIST. PLEASE NOTE THAT I THINK THAT SONG IS FUCKING AWESOME AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN NUMBER 6. I AM AN IDIOT, I'LL MAKE SURE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN FOR LISTS IN THE FUTURE. NOW, PLEASE ENJOY MY STUPID "DEEP" BULLSHIT THAT IS MY NO.1 PICK.
This probably shouldn't be here. By objective standpoints, it's not better than Love Sex Magic, not by a long shot (then again, few songs are). But it's my list, and this song is...special to me. If you couldn't already tell, I'm a very blunt and damn near heartless individual. I have barely any affection towards others, and other than happy & laughing, I don't have any emotion whatsoever. So, when I find a song that touches me and speaks to me THIS much, It sticks out to me. I can't not put this song anywhere lower than number 1 in my eyes. It isn't the best song of 2009, but fuck me is it my favourite.
No. 1: Human - The Killers (US: N/A / CA: 95)
I...don't know man. I just don't know. I have spent sleepless nights & depressing days just thinking about this song and what it means. To this day, I still don't know what it means.
"Are we human, or are we dancer?"
I have no fucking idea what this means. You could say it's stupid, and it probably is. But there's something here. I just can't find it, and I don't think I want to. If I were to take a guess, "dancer" is supposed to refer to a pawn or puppet of some sort, somebody controlled by the government. But here's the thing: That's the biggest reach of all time. There's a solid chance Brandon Flowers just came up with this when he was high and tried to craft a narrative around it. But I don't know, a lot of these lines just speak to me in some way.
"And sometimes I get nervous/When I see an open door/Close your eyes, clear your heart/Cut the cord"
I relate to this so fucking hard. I'm such a pussy, I'm scared and nervous of so much shit. Even though I know that if I just put myself out there, ignore all feelings and do it, I just can't for some unknown reason. It's not that I'm afraid of what other people think (Once you realize that half the shit you are passionate about has a majority female audience, you begin to stop caring about others opinions around you), my body just seems to reject trying new things.
And the bridge is just...jeez
"Will your system be alright/When you dream of home tonight?"
In the next 5 years or so, I'll more than likely end up moving out of my parents house, and that fucking horrifies me. I can barely cook fucking chicken strips in an oven, how in gods name of blue hell am I gonna take care of myself? It worries me, but I know I'll get over it. I just need to do it, y'know?
And this production, oh my god. It's very simplistic & poppy, sure. But holy fuck, it sets the tone perfectly. I don't get how a song THIS upbeat and catchy can be THIS fucking sad. The layered drums, almost slimy synth & weirdly mixed guitar make this offsetting atmosphere, all topped off with this chip-tune breakdown after each chorus that, despite sounding insanely light, happy, and wonderful, is one of the most depressing things I've ever fucking heard.
I don't think anyone is going to agree with this pick, including myself. I even said that this is not the best song of 2009. But, no matter how objective you think your actions truly are, everyone thinks with their emotions. And my emotions tell me that Human by The Killers deserves to be crowned as the Best Hit Song of 2009.
I re-listened to "Goodbye" last year and it holds up surprisingly well.
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