Sunday 1 January 2017

Top 50 Best Songs of 2016

2016 was an awful year for the charts, but outside of that, it was pretty great. A bunch of excellent albums, which in turn means a bunch of excellent songs. Here's 50 of them with brief explanation.



Only rule is the song itself needed to come out this year, it can't just piggyback off an album to get on this list. As much as I adore you Death of a Bachelor & LA Devotee, you can't make the list because of this rule. Even though the album came out early January, the songs themselves came out late December of 2015. Don't blame me, blame Fueled By Raman for it's dogshit promotion tactics. Also, don't expect me to go very in depth on these songs. I'm not gonna write a 1000 word essay on each song when there's 50 I gotta get through. Sorry. Anyways, here's the list.


50. Brand New Moves - Hey Violet
An awesome groove & cool vocal performance kinda ruined by a few dumb lyrics. "I'm the lock & you're the key, so open me any way you like". Just stop, please.


49. Superlove - Tinashe
A great summer jam from the bae herself. Although this song *may* have snuck it's way onto this list because of the music video.

...look I'm a man of simple tastes ok.


48. Like a Star - Fetty Wap ft Nicki Minaj
This song is so confusing. The Work sample at the beginning, the absolutely fucked production that randomly gains & loses momentum & substance, the off kilter-ed hook, I don't know what this song really is. Nicki's verse is fire tho.


47. Kirby - Aesop Rock
The obvious single from it's album, and dear lord is it a banger. It may be the most accessible song in Aesop Rock's discography, but it's also one of his best.


46. Can't Get Enough of Myself - Santigold ft B.C
Kesha-lite that I really needed this year. This'll work in a pinch until this Dr. Luke bullshit rolls over.


45. Bacon - Nick Jonas ft Ty Dolla $ign
Absolutely fucking ridiculous. It's narrative makes no sense, it's structure is a lowkey disaster, and the chorus explodes out of thin air. It is a glorious listen.


44. Minnesota - Lil Yachty ft Quavo, Skippa da Flippa & Young Thug
Fuck you it's fun.


43. Oxygen - Dirty Heads
Reggae done right. It's got a swing to it without sounding corny as shit, which is harder to do than it sounds when it comes to reggae for me. Not sure how I feel about "If you're going under than I'll be your oxygen" as a line to ensure this girl's safety, but I dig the rest.


42. Daddy Lessons - Beyonce
Beyonce making a country song, and it should not work NEARLY as well as it does. Surprisingly has more earnest & twang in it than 95% of country radio.


41. Ride of Your Life - Tinashe
The only good beat Metro Boomin has ever made, and thank fuck he gave it to Tinashe. She rides that creepy & grimy beat way too well. Hook needs a *bit* more power to it I think, but I can't complain.


40. Wait Til The Morning - BJ The Chicago Kid ft Isa
BJ The Chicago Kid is like Usher mixed with Chance The Rapper, and he is awesome. This is a very sweet track that I highly recommend.


39. False Alarm - The Weeknd
We all love this song, and we all know WHY we love this song. The only standout track on The Weeknd's slightly disappointing album.


38. Adam & Eve - Izzy Bizu
It's a great pop song. I like it.


37. Mean What I Mean - Alunageorge ft Dreezy & Leikeli47
Sassy af. Bangin beat, bumpin hook, a dope as hell horn drop, and an absolutely fucking FIRE verse from Dreezy. Unfortunately, this Liekeli47 girl isn't nearly as good, which puts this song a LOT lower than it should've been on this list. But eh, what can you do.


36. Kiss The Sky - Jason Derulo
For some reason I never want to listen to this song ever again. I loved it for a week, but I never find myself coming back to it. But I must recognize that this song is absolutely perfect.


35. Close - Nick Jonas ft Tove Lo
It's the best hit of the year for a reason. The amount of atmosphere this song creates is mind blowing, and the chemistry between these 2 artists isn't far behind it. Making this song a duet with Tove Lo of all people was the smartest decision of Nick Jonas' career.


34. Get Out of the Car - Aesop Rock
I have absolutely no idea what to say for this one. So instead, go check out The Impossible Kid by Aesop Rock & find out for yourself how great this song is.


33. Freal Luv - Far East Movement ft Tinashe & losers who tf cares
I've said ever since 2 On that Tinashe can be a fucking brilliant performer if you just give her good beats to work under. Now, I didn't expect this mentioned beat to come from fucking Marshmellow, but whatever I'll take it. Oh, I guess there's verses as well, but who cares. The hook conquers the whole song & it is all kinds of awesome.


32. Greedy - Ariana Grande
Explosive chorus, flawless horns & lovely vocals from Ariana. Not much to say, it's just a damn good pop song. I only have 1 question though: WHY WASN'T IT A SINGLE LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT.


31. Work Away - Classified ft David Myles
A blue-collar anthem. This would be obnoxious & probably insufferable coming from any other artist, but the fact that neither Classifed or David Myles are famous in the slightest makes this actually work fairly well. Production is nice too, slow but soothing piano line, victory horns, claps & kicks, the works. And of course, David Myles. What a lovely voice this man has (ok it aint that good tbh I just ran out of shit to say).


30. That's My Girl - Fifth Harmony
It's loud, it's blaring, it's obnoxious, it's in your face, & I love every second of it. One of the best build ups of the year.


29. Square - Classified
I love everything about this. The unsettling atmosphere, the layered and chilling beat, touches of guitar solos, the vocal samples, it all comes together absolutely beautifully. And Classfied's bars are tight & dope as hell. This is borderline top 10 material easy. But, that first line man, Yeah, don't open your song with the line "My package is massive" even if you say you were just joking a couple seconds later. It ruins it a bit for me, but it's still an excellent.


28. Make You Feel Good - Fetty Wap ft some random girl idk
Fetty Wap got hit hard this year when it comes to both chart success & quality. Thankfully, this one fills in the latter category rather nicely.


27. Hope You Understand - Grace
Retro-throwback pop music done right. Sassy writing, pretty great vocal performance from Grace, and some nice touches to the production such as record scratches & various other sounds I don't know the name of because I'm a shit music "critic". Take notes Meghan Trainor, this song trumps your entire career.


26. If He Ain't Gonna Love You - Jake Owen
Best country song of the year. Unlimited charisma, gritty guitars, a kicking beat & some roaring and absolutely amazing backing vocals from Chris Stapleton. Sure the lyrics are douchey as all hell as a very straight forward blunt "Steal Yo Gurl" song, but when it sounds THIS good, who the fuck cares?


25. Burn Break Crash - Aanysa ft Snakehips
It's not nearly as good as All My Friends, but I didn't expect it to be. I mean, Tinashe & Chance the Rapper on a track TOGETHER? That's just unstoppable. But, Aanysa still did a fantastic job. The hook is insanely catchy, her performance is great, and despite it being a dance track, the lyrics are actually pretty solid! Good job girl, have fun falling into obscurity.


24. Hot Air Balloon - SonReal
Sure it's corny, sure it's stupid, but fuck you I love it. It's upbeat, it's charming, and it's so much fucking fun. That's what I like about this dude, he's FUN. I'm fine with those rappers who sacrifice energy for atmosphere, but it's nice to hear bright & sunny rap songs like this one every once & a while.


23. Fade - Kanye West ft Ty Dolla $ign & Post Malone
A lot of people seem to not like this song, and I get it. But c'mon, you gotta admit that this bass line is fucking killer. Who cares if the whole song is built around the bass & nothing else? The bass is THAT good, and along with a combination of kicks, thumps & the auto tuned duo just kinda drowning themselves into the beat, giving the song a very thick sound, it's just lovely to listen to. Oh, and fuck Post Malone.


22. Crazy=Genius - Panic At The Disco
I wanted to make sure at least 1 song from DOAB made this list, and it happens to be the best on the album. I could go through all the lyrics & vocal inflections & how they all mean something crucial to the song, but I can sum everything up with "Brendon Urie losing his fucking mind" and you all probably get the jist.


21. Classic - The Knocks ft POWER & Fetty Wap
An awesome disco-type throwback track, with a catchy guitar, solid beat & pleasant piano line. Fetty Wap is on here, and as out of place as he is, nails this performance, and plays off POWERS better than I thought he would.


20. Straight Up & Down - Bruno Mars
Not at all what I expected from this album, but dear lord is this awesome. A slick & sexy piano track with "STRAIGHT UP" shouting that sounds straight out of a Travis Scott track. It works way better than I'm describing it, trust me.


19. Touch Pass - Tinashe
Sexy as all hell. Bae strikes again.


18. Cabinet Men - Lemon Demon
A brilliant electro track with some surprisingly tight writing. It's a fan favourite for a reason.


17. Love On Me - Galantis & Hook N Sling
A brilliant EDM track, only edging out Cabinet Men because of lowered expectations, because I fucking hate every other Galantis track.


16. Law - Yo Gotti ft E-40
An absolute banger. Some clever as hell bars, a dope verse from E-40 & a gangster as fuck performance from Yo Gotti over an expertly layered beat. Keep your Rae Sremmurd & fucking Post Malone, I'd rather vibe out to this.


15. One Shot - Robin Thicke ft Juicy J
Yes I know how mad you are right now. I put Robin Thicke & Juicy fucking J over every Radiohead, Nick Cave, Frank Ocean & Bon Iver track this year. Sue me, no one said I had good opinions. But please, listen to this song and try and tell me this isn't the most fun a song has ever been this year.


14. Pen To Paper - Modern Space
Some great indie rock. Yep, that's it. It's catchy & vibrant as hell & I love it. Listen to it.


13. H.O.E (Heaven On Earth) - LunchMoney Lewis ft Ty Dolla $ign
Absolutely fucking adorable in every single way.


12. Freedom - Beyonce ft Kendrick Lamar
Explosive, empowering, passionate, & lethal. It's everything I want from a Beyonce song, it checks all the boxes and then some. Add an excellent Kendrick verse (one of the few great ones he actually gave this year) & you get one of the best songs of the year.


11. Stealing - Ty Dolla $ign
Interesting, to say the least. Ty's auto tune screeching over this acoustic guitar ballad of him sadly explaining to his parents & everyone close to him to not judge his actions & begging them to still love him even though he's dated, fucked & broken up with so many women. It's such an odd concept that I didn't expect to come out of a rapper who has a fucking dollar sign in his name. However, It's a lovely listen, check it out.


10. Dang! - Mac Miller ft Anderson .Paak 
Smooth as all hell with a dope hook from Anderson .Paak & surprisingly good bars from Mac Miller. One of the most underrated & shockingly great tracks from this year.


9. Jade - Mike Posner
Mike Posner's best quality from minute 1 of his 15 minutes of fame has always been portraying himself as an absolute loser, which is exactly what this song does. Posner got burned by a girl, and got burned BAAAAAADDD. It's got a heavy kicking beat, a subtle but calm acoustic guitar that goes wild on the chorus, and a guitar solo that's all kind of awesome. By the final chorus, you're gonna be as pissed at this Jade cunt as Mike Posner is, meaning this song fulfilled it's place perfectly.


8. Lemonade - Adam Friedman ft Mike Posner
A breezy, relaxing summer jam. The musical equivalent of laying down on a hammock as you watch the sunset. Of course 1 look into the lyrics actually show a quite depressing story of how this dude has gone all around the world & been rejected by every woman he's ever loved, with his last hope being in the bright state of California, but that's all fine. Whether you want to acknowledge the lyrics or not, it's a charming relaxing beach jam that I love.


7. Come Down - Anderson .Paak
An absolute banger. Slick beat, slick bars and a slick flow by Anderson. Paak, who brings buckets of charisma. The go-to banger of the year.


6. Don't Hurt Yourself - Beyonce ft Jack White
Beyonce's ratchet side done SOOOO right. It's fierce, bitchy, catty, and vile in all of the right ways. Beyonce's powerful performance that hits extremely hard, a slick guitar line & beat, and some anthemic as fuck writing. I know that's not what this song was trying to go for, but screaming this song at the top of your lungs is way too much fun.


5. UGH! - The 1975
Liquid guitar & bubbly effects under some insanely tight writing, accompanied by the best bridge of the year, which is what knocked this song into the top 5. It's by far the best song off the 1975's mediocre 2016 album with the stupid fucking name, and it definitely deserves it's place on this list.


4. Write On Me - Fifth Harmony
The amount this group improved from Reflection to now is fucking staggering. The lowered expectation is what makes this so high up. Although let's not ignore how this is pop perfection. A floaty & breezy tropical track with all the members of 5H explaining to their guys how much they love & have faith in them, that they want their men to define them. Now this may seem fucked up, but since it's coming from the girls perspective, it's completely fine, and actually an interesting sentiment. Plus, Fifth Harmony actually do harmonize on the hook (EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THEM NOT HARMONIZING LIKE HOLY FUCK).


3. No Warm Up - SonReal
No one but me knows this guy, which is a shame because he is brilliant. He brings unmatched energy in a year lacking in it over an incredibly bouncy instrumental & killer as hell lines. It's a brag rap song sure, but it's a fun, bumpin, and overall magical brag rap track that had me jamming out all through August.


2. Video Games - Classified ft Mike Boyd
2 white rappers spending 4 minutes spitting video game bars over a Double Dragon sample. Basically my wet dream of music. This was the standout track on Classified last album ever "Greatful", which also happens to be the best album of this year. He couldn't have went out with any better song than this.


1. Give Me Your Love - Sigala ft John Newman & Nile Rodgers
Everything about this song is fucking perfect. The powerful vocal sample, catchy as hell piano line, roaring guitar riff from Nile fucking Rodgers, and of course that staple Sigala beat that serves wonderfully along the former mentioned production. The song has so much momentum, control & flow that explodes into a fantastic chorus coming from none other than the British powerhouse John Newman, who gives the best vocal performance of his career. All of that topped off with the best drop of the year by a fucking landslide makes this the Best Song of 2016 as well as one of the best songs I've ever heard.

1 comment:

  1. I'm happy that you put Galantis on a best list, but I still like all three of their hits (hits in the UK, at least).

    ReplyDelete